[[A SENSE OF BELONGING]]
Friday, October 24, 2008, 8:05:00 PM
At the young age of twelve,Alyssa has gone through countless medical procedures.All these painful medical procedures were not for herself,but for her sister,Danielle,who has leukemia.
At times,Alyssa felt like an automaton.At the touch of an invisible button,she would have to donate blood to her sister.Despite countless questionings of the reason for her suffering,her mother only came up with one answer:"It is your job to save your sister.You were born for this".Alyssa had never found this explanation good enough.Nevertheless,she continued to bear with the suffering.
When her sister was in a good condition,Alyssa felt as if she never existed.Her parents only bothered about her sister.All the gifts that she has received from her parents were given to her either because she brought another miracle to the family or because they felt guilty not getting a gift for her after getting one for Danielle. During Christmas one year,Alyssa's parents neglected her so much that they did not even realise that she was missing.They thought that she was in her room.In fact,Alyssa was not even in the house.She had gone to stay with their neighbour.No one in the family noticed.
On other days when Danielle's health fell into a critical condition,Alyssa was treated as if she was the one who was writing the fate of the family.Her parents got her everything she wanted,they brought her to places that she only dared to dream of before.All this came at a heavy price.It was either another blood transfusion or another transplant.However,because of what her parents have done for her,Alyssa never dared to object to these painful procedures.Sometimes,when her parents treated her this way,Alyssa even felt as if her sister was just an illusion,someone that didn't exist.
Alyssa can never decide whether she really belongs to her family.Sometimes she feels like she is invisible.Sometimes she feels like she is the only child her parents have.Alyssa can never find her sense of belonging.
*PS. this is the last entry.
it's not well done.
I know it.
hope it makes Mr Kek feel less lonely.
haha.
but this will be the last of my remains on this blog.
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